Always have. I hate it, actually. Know what else I hate? Dating. Like, I can think of a million things I’d rather do than go on a first date with someone who may or may not have all of his teeth (maybe that’s a regional thing?). Don’t get me wrong, I love getting to know people, but there are too many [stupid] rules when it comes to dating.
Now, I know you’re probably sitting there thinking, “Why on Earth is she talking about dating?! Her husband just died! The nerve!” And that would be exactly why I’m talking about dating. There are certain [stupid] rules that widow(er)s “have” to follow. But you know what? It’s nobody else’s business. Dating as a widow is completely frowned upon by lots of people. It’s one of those things that we don’t like to bring up, because we know we’re GOING TO BE JUDGED for it. It’s something we only talk about with others who are in the same boat.
You wanna know something about widows and widowers? We are people – some of us are even human! We have feelings, emotions, and desires just like every single other person on the planet. And, before your mind goes there, I’m not necessarily talking about the physical aspect, although…
When you’re excited about something, who is the first person you share it with? Who do you run to when you’re having a bad day? Who knows you better than anyone else? Who can make you smile when nobody else can? I’m guessing it’s not your cat. Or maybe it is. I’m talking about your spouse, though.
You’re probably sitting over there now saying, “If I ever lost my spouse, I’d never be able to love again.” And you may be right, but you may be wrong, too! You. Do. Not. Know. Until you’re in the situation. Life’s funny like that.
Before Ray died, we talked about me remarrying. As a matter of fact, he wanted me to. I mean, I am still young and hot, right? Well, you get the idea. But the point is, it is totally acceptable to date after losing a spouse. It’s also totally acceptable not to date after losing a spouse. Whatever works for you is what you should do. Just let God guide you in the right direction.
I’m not typing this for anyone’s approval. I’m not even dating, so it really doesn’t matter to me either way. I just feel like we shouldn’t have to hide our feelings so people who don’t know squat about what it’s like won’t feel the need to give their input. Death does not end love. The love will always be there. That doesn’t mean there can’t be more love – new love, different love.
Can there even be too much love?
“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 7:39